I decided to revisit this series in which death itself (portrayed
as a black mist) kills a bunch of people.
Although they’re set up as slasher films, I guess they would be more of
the body count variety since people die but there is no specific killer (yes,
there is a difference---Jaws is a
body count film, Halloween is a
slasher film). Now, us horror fans don’t
watch these movies for plot, as is the case with most slasher/body count films;
there never is a plot---a group of people are temporarily saved from dying in a
specific situation (due to a premonition) before they all die one by one (in
the order they should have) due to “cheating” death’s plan; we just watch them
for the deaths, usually elaborate, and maybe for the characters, but ultimately
the deaths. These films are simply meant
to be mindless fun and they are for the most part…
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Final Destination
The one that started it all.
I loved it when I first saw it in the theater, it being a bit different
from the average slasher film. Like I said,
it’s merely only set-up as a slasher film being it contains mostly teen
characters being offed one by one. It’s
still good today, but may have lost a bit of impact over the years and after
being followed by four sequels (well, at least three sequels, but more on that
below). A plane crash is what the cast
of characters were meant to perish in here, something which many people fear,
and, according to Google (the statistics probably differ on every site), the
odds of it occurring are 1 in 9,821.
John Denver, who himself died in a plane crash, is featured on the
soundtrack. How’s that for morbid
transparency?
Favorite death:
The teacher at her home.
Final Destination 2
Well, this one was certainly gorier than its
predecessor. This time, our intended victims
were supposed to bite it in a highway accident.
Only one character returns from the first (well, two if you count Candyman himself, Mr. Tony Todd) and the
same thing happens wherein all those that should’ve perished on that highway
die one by one. It’s still fun for those
indiscriminate viewers, horror fans or not, and there’s a bit of general
suspense, more so the first time or a repeat viewing after a while with little
to no recollection.
Favorite death:
Boy squished by glass.
Final Destination 3
Third time’s a charm?
Well, the first one was a somewhat original concept for a well-worn
subgenre and the second one upped the gore quotient. This one was definitely not original and the
gore probably rivaled the first sequel instead of topping it. However, if you made it this far, you should
know exactly what to expect; it is fun like the others, if you enjoy these sorts
of films, that is, the deaths are well thought out like the others, and the
film is well-shot (I particularly liked the ominous shots of the amusement park
and the segue from the tanning beds to the coffins). A rollercoaster (aptly named Devil’s Flight)
is the spot where all the characters were to expire this time; a site on Google
states the odds of dying on a roller coaster are 1 in 300 million (again,
different sites will give you different statistics; one character in this film
states it’s a 1 in 250 million chance). James
Wong is back in the director’s chair, he also directed the first one (as well
as co-wrote both), while David R. Ellis (Cellular,
Snakes on a Plane, Shark Night) helmed the second one.
Favorite death:
Tie between the tanning deaths (most disturbing one too) and the nail
gun through the gothic chick’s head.
The Final Destination
David R. Ellis returned to direct this fourth entry (I guess
they assumed this would be the last one by putting The in front of the first title) wherein our cast of characters are
supposed to kick the bucket at an auto racetrack after an accident causes cars
and car parts to fly into the audience. (I
guess audience members would never expect to go at a place like that since I came
up with nothing after Googling statistics for the odds of dying there). Yup, the same thing happens this time---those
that left their seats after someone spouts about having a premonition in
regards to an upcoming disaster die one by one due to cheating death’s
plan. It’s still undeniably a bit of fun
if you enjoyed the others and there are far worse ways you can spend roughly 82
minutes. Luckily they got rid of the
deplorable redneck right away in one of the more inane death sequences. This was originally presented in 3-D which I
think is an ineffective gimmick for feature films. You can view it in either, but just watch it
in 2-D; you can still tell what parts were meant to be in 3-D.
Favorite death:
Real---Decapitation by tire.
Imagined---Escalator death.
Final Destination 5
Steven Quale (who also directed the underrated tornado
flick, Into the Storm), not James
Wong or David R. Ellis, helmed this fifth entry that’s really a prequel to one
of the other films (I won’t reveal which in case you haven’t seen this). Here, a bridge collapse is the initial
disaster, not during an earthquake either (it looks and seems like it would be
a very frightening scenario, but a Google search told me it’s a one in several
million chance of being your demise).
Then, of course, those that were supposed to die, die in the order they
would have. You know the deal,
especially after four other films (there was a new theory proposed here though
in regards to cheating death a different way).
Somehow they always somewhat seem to work though, or at least hold your
attention. I probably liked this entry
the least, but that doesn’t mean I disliked it either. This was also shot in 3-D and 2-D, but I only
ever watched it in 2-D because 3-D sucks, if I haven’t made that clear!
Favorite death:
Skewered in the kitchen.
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In conclusion:
I like this series, as formulaic as it may seem. Arguably, it’s not necessarily formulaic
since we don’t know specifically how the characters are going to die. Instead of simply being stabbed, sliced, or
beheaded with a sharp object, a Rube Goldberg-ish sequence usually occurs
before the characters are stabbed, sliced, or beheaded (examples of a Rube
Goldberg design, for those unaware, would be the Mouse Trap board game, the
breakfast sequence in Pee-Wee’s Big
Adventure, and some of the traps in the Home
Alone films). There also might be, I
think, a bit of a Stephen King influence in that mundane situations/locations
(tanning salon, car wash, hair salon, dentist, etc.) become deadly. I’ve seen them all more than a couple times
and they still manage to be entertaining whenever I revisit them. A sixth entry has been proposed for a while
now with no confirmed release date as of yet.
Well, as has been proven, I’m going to keep watching them as long as
they’re made. Watching people die is
only fun when in movies. F.Y.I., if you
want to look for Easter eggs while having your marathon, the number 180 appears
in all of them…7/14/2020
---Sean O.
7/15/2020
