I'm..dreaming of a black...christmas!

Burn up any evidence with a nice cozy fire and relax with this double dose of yuletide jeer!  Season's Screamings!

Black Christmas (1974)

Just in time for the holidays!  This slasher film from the Great White North predated all the American classics like Halloween, Friday the 13^th and all their imitators.  This seminal flick is underrated, overlooked and one of the best!  It might even be one of my favorite horror movies period.  I’m a huge fan of merging beauty with tragedy and what better way to take a festive time like Christmas and involve murders in a sorority house?  A title like Black Christmas is awesome in that it simplistically signifies the juxtaposition of the macabre and majestic.  One of the first serious film analyses I wrote in college in the early 2000s was for this movie.  (Sorry, I don’t have a copy of that.  You’ll have to contact my Film History teacher, if he even still has it).  I was initially turned onto this movie years ago when I read Phil Anselmo (Pantera, Down, Superjoint Ritual and many other side projects) mention this was one of his favorite horror movies.  I rented it on VHS (well that should tell you how long ago that was), fell in love at first sight and loved it since.  Amazing how hard it was to trace a phone call just 40 years ago!  The ambiguity of the killer’s identity and his various POV shots add to the overall effectiveness.  Additional applause for never having any sequels like so many other iconic slasher films.  Be sure to kick back this holiday season with this stylish, chilling (like a Canadian winter) and completely meritorious (should-be) holiday classic.

Black Christmas (2006)

Well, I hated the idea of this remake upon hearing of it, hated it when I first saw it and lumped it in with other pointless remakes like coal in a stocking.  Well, I watched it again a few years after that and didn’t hate it as much.  Perhaps my initial contempt stemmed from my love for the original?  Comparisons are instinctual but I’ve definitely become more lenient with different adaptations, especially book-to-film.  I’ve seen this maybe four or five times now and it definitely gets better each time.  It’s so well shot and provides plenty of the red stuff.  It’s quite disturbing at times too.  Plus, I’ve always been a fan of horror movies set around Christmastime (as long as they’re actually good, well-made and involve mayhem of some kind).  I still dislike how Billy the faceless killer is given a backstory here.  That’s the primary problem with remakes.  The ambiguity of yesteryear’s originals are what made them so great.  We don’t need to know what Michael Myers’ childhood was like before going psycho.  We don’t need to see Jason Voorhees before going psycho.  No need to even mention the Nightmare on Elm Street remake.  I believe if I never saw nor heard of the original Black Christmas, I would’ve liked this much better.  I would add it to my list of Christmas horror favorites.  Still doesn’t come close to the original and I have some reservations overall, but I’d say include it in a holiday horror marathon.  Just watch the original first if you haven’t already.  11/22/2016

---Sean O.

Goddamn those Japanese houses!

Hausu (House)                                                            OK/G

The first time I saw this Japanese horror/comedy/fantasy I thought it was too silly and uber-bizarre.  Especially since I watched it based on horror writers (Rue Morgue in particular) praising it.  Well, it still is goofy and very outlandish but undeniably like no other haunted house film I’ve ever seen nor (most likely) will ever see.  I did appreciate it more with a liberal mindset and can’t deny it’s entertaining in the least.  The soundtrack adds to the idiosyncratic tone which sounds like it belongs in a 70’s comedy sitcom.  Funny how certain characters aren’t thrown off by some of the supernatural occurrences at first, like when one of the girls uses kung-fu against flying logs as if that’s the normal thing to do.  I have a feeling this would continually grow on me upon each viewing.  After all, I was initially turned off by the slapstick of Evil Dead 2 but now it’s one of my favorite horror movies.  While this doesn’t have the overall horror and excessive gore of Evil Dead 2, it’s still imaginative and trippy.  (This was released a decade before Sam Raimi’s worthy sequel).  I could never conceive the manic fantastical elements on display.  Of particular note are a piano eating a girl and the house becoming a blood river spewing from a cat painting.  Very eccentric and far from my first choice of viewing but, damn it, there’s nothing else quite like it!  11/19/2016

---Sean O.

Let's all go to Halloweentown!

Halloweentown                                                           OK

Cheeseball award goes to….this initial film for a corny Disney movie franchise?  Nah, there’s probably other candidates for that.  Yes, this is as cheesy as cheese can get, even for a kiddy flick.  The monsters in the titular town are goofy and the special effects are lame, but it’s mildly amusing and 100% harmless.  I liked the big town pumpkin.  11/1/2016

Halloweentown II:  Kalabar’s Revenge                      OK

This one was a little better than the first one.  I liked that they didn’t make the same movie twice.  It might be that is was also directed by Mary Lambert who made Pet Sematary and Pet Sematary Two (classics in my mind).  Still far from classic status but there’s more going on this round to slightly elevate interest.  I liked the shrunken head walkie-talkies.  11/1/2016

Halloweentown High                                                  EH/OK

It’s tough enough being a human freak in high school.  Imagine being a literal freak (disguised as humans initially).  Age-old tale about basing people on their personality over outward appearance.  Blah, blah, blah.  I liked the giant animatronic (at first, then CGI) skeleton from the haunted house.  Slightly.  11/3/2016

Return to Halloweentown                                           EH

A different actress plays the oldest witch sister this time.  The girl from the previous three couldn’t do one more?  She probably foresaw the series losing steam and didn’t want to waste her time.  No, the franchise isn’t spectacular to begin with but this fourth entry was simply too many.  Its corny factor reached an all-time high (higher than the two characters flying the broom over Witch University---in which the brother and sister attend in…well, the title should explain where).  Otherwise it’s more of a lame teen movie with monsters being additional cast members.  Thank badness they stopped here.  11/3/2016

In conclusion:  I saw the first two Halloweentown movies about a decade ago and didn’t remember much other than being cheesy family-friendly movies.  My current opinion hasn’t necessarily changed.  Sure, I’ve seen worse.  Plus, they were all free on demand.  Overall, Halloweentown may be a nice place to visit briefly.  Every decade or so.

---Sean O.